


Not Just a Sweater

by Mickisketch, NeutronStarChild



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Romance, Ugly Sweaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28371297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mickisketch/pseuds/Mickisketch, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeutronStarChild/pseuds/NeutronStarChild
Summary: Inuyasha had finally done it. He'd lost Kagome. He'd done it by forgetting what December 1st was. And he'd done it by making fun of the gawdy sweater she'd decided to wear to school. All because he wanted to be one of the popular kids. So, when he showed up at the Higurashi front door, prepared to doanythingto ensure he kept Kagome in his life, he was willing to take help from whoever offered it.And Kagome needed to talk to her dad. To figure out what to do now that it looked like she'd lost Inuyasha forever. All over the ugly sweater she would never regret wearing,especiallyon that day. So, with the help of their family, do Kagome and Inuyasha find their way back to each other?Inuyasha Tumblr Secret Santagift fornyanyalie!Amazing Secret Santa Chapter 3 art gift from the etherealmickisketch!
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha
Comments: 51
Kudos: 100
Collections: Divergent Adventures of Inuyasha





	1. A Sweater and a Joke

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by [Fawn_Eyed_Girl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fawn_Eyed_Girl) and [Ruddcatha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruddcatha)

“Kagome!” Inuyasha had fucked up. In a bigger, grander, more glorious way than he had probably ever. “Kagome, please wait… I-I’m  _ sorry _ !”

At his words, Kagome’s jog became a sprint. She was not running for him to chase her, she was running to get away from him. She’d never done that before.

Inuyasha growled. He’d promised himself that he wouldn’t use his half-demon speed to get the upper hand, especially not against  _ Kagome _ . But she needed to fucking  _ let him apologize _ . So he pooled his yōki and launched himself, landing directly in front of her.

Kagome let out a yelp and stumbled backward, but as soon as she saw who it was, the fear in her face gave way to fury.

“Leave me alone Inuyasha.” Kagome shoved past him so hard that he flinched.

“I’ll leave when you let me apologize.” Inuyasha crossed his arms.”I made a stupid joke. I’m sorry. I didn’t—“

“You don’t remember, do you?” Kagome stopped her forward motion, but she didn’t look at him, “You don’t remember what today is.”

“What does that have to do with your sweater?” Inuyasha should have just cut out his tongue before he used it, given the look that Kagome leveled at him, full of rage but also…  _ hurt _ . Hurt so profound that he could see scar tissue down to her soul.

“Fuck you, Inuyasha.” Kagome had  _ never _ said that to him before. And her words had never sounded so  _ final _ . “Go back to the KKK. You’re truly one of them now.”

When Kagome turned back around and kept walking, Inuyasha didn’t follow her. He could already smell the tears falling from her eyes, and he’d  _ never _ seen Kagome that broken. Not by him at least.

Except…

_ Fuck _ .

It was December 1st: the one year anniversary of Kagome’s father’s death. Inuyasha had chosen  _ that fucking day _ to finally try to earn his acceptance by the popular kids by making fun of Kagome’s sweater. True, the sweater she wore was hideous: it was radioactive green, decorated in poop brown reindeer with lopsided googly eyes that looked like they were drawn by an elementary school art class, and each reindeer had a literal  _ pompom for a fucking nose _ . If it had been ‘ugly Christmas sweater’ day at school, Kagome would have won. Unfortunately, it hadn’t been. Sure, he hadn’t started it (that was Kanna) and he hadn’t said the meanest thing of the group (that was Kikyo). But he’d asked her if she lost a bet. Because  _ honestly _ why the fuck would she wear something like that to school if she hadn’t? It had been a good way to tease her, and Kanna, Kikyo and Koga had laughed at her, at  _ his joke _ .

A joke he made about her on the one year anniversary of her father dying.

Inuyasha dropped to his knees, trying to breathe deeply enough not to panic. Kagome Higurashi was the only person in the universe he vowed never to hurt. She was the first person to play with him—a half-demon—when he and his mom moved into the neighborhood. She always chose to be his partner in classes, and…  _ scrappy wench _ … she would never let a bad word go said about him without running in to tell the person off.

He couldn’t remember when he fell in love with her, but that had happened to. Away from his notice, he couldn’t imagine his life without Kagome Higurashi.

The same Kagome Higurashi that he’d just destroyed because he was a fucking idiot who hadn’t looked carefully enough at the day. The same Kagome Higurashi that he decided to tease over  _ a fucking sweater _ , to try to fit in with popular kids he didn’t even like.

Why did he even want to be ‘the KKK’s’ friend? Kikyo was colder than his Antarctic older half-brother Sesshomaru. Kanna seemed to live for making people think she was stupid when she was really quietly making fun of everyone around her. Koga was a jock. A bit dumb, and mostly seemed to hang out with them all because they let him talk about soccer endlessly. And Inuyasha had given in when the KKK invited him to sit with them. Because it felt  _ fucking good _ to be accepted— _ no _ , more than accepted— _ admired _ . Half-demons didn’t get admired. But here he was, a “popular kid” because he was halfway decent at track. And goddamn if that didn’t feel amazing.

So he dropped his old friends and picked up his newer shinier friends. It never stopped him from loving Kagome, or from spending time with her. He just… chose his moments differently. He’d head over after school to do homework with her, or to play video games with Sōta. He even helped Kagome’s mother with chores around the house. But the rest of them, Shippo and Shiori and Miroku and Sango, well… he figured they didn’t really need him anyway. And the first semester of their senior year had been just… chugging along.

_ On December 1st, one year ago, Kagome’s father died.  
_ And his fucking dumb ass had just made fun of her on that fucking day. To fit in.

Inuyasha groaned so loudly he started some birds out of the tree near him. He couldn’t lose Kagome.  _ He couldn’t lose her _ .

“What do I do.” Inuyasha muttered to himself.   
He had to believe, had to  _ trust _ that he had not fucked up things so royally that he’d lost her. But at that moment, it felt like the ground had fallen out from under him. Because he was a fucking dipshit idiot asshole. Inuyasha closed his eyes, and took one more breath.  _ Trust _ .

He would go to Kagome’s house. And if she was there, he would apologize to her properly. For being an insensitive prick. For pretending like the plastic acceptance of his superficial friends was more important to him than being with Kagome. And maybe, just  _ maybe _ , he would tell her how he really felt about her… since as long as he could remember.

_ No _ . He needed to fix what he fucked up first.

Inuyasha took off for Kagome’s house, ignoring the awkward looks of the humans as he amped up his half-demon speed, covering the mile to her house in less than a minute. He walked up to her door, breathing in the scent of her house. Kagome’s scent was not there. Wherever she’d gone, it was not to her house.

Inuyasha whined. What could he do? Should he track her to wherever she’d gone and confront her? Should he go home and regroup? Send her a text message?

No.

There  _ was _ a scent in that house, the scent of the one person who might be able to help. And also the scent of a person who would call him out for being a fucking asshole.

_ Mama Higurashi _ .

Inuyasha sighed. Not losing Kagome was more important than avoiding a scolding, and Mama would not steer him wrong. Inuyasha knew what he had to do.

Inuyasha knocked on the door, his ears focusing on the soft footsteps that slowly approached. Mama’s footfalls sounded heavy and he could detect the waft of salt through the air.

_ Right. _   
It was the one-year anniversary of her husband dying. Of  _ course _ Mama would be crying.

_ There was an accident. Dad didn’t make it.  
_ He still had the text message he got from Kagome. The one that launched him out of his room and into her yard. He remembered seeing her through the window, holding so tightly onto Mama and Sōta that they looked like three shipwreck survivors using each other for flotation.

_ What can I do?  
_ Inuyasha had texted back from her yard, not wanting to barge into that moment. He watched Kagome get the message through the window, and lean into her mother. He watched as she pushed herself off the couch, and walked to the door.

“You can come in.” Kagome had opened the door, beckoning him into the house.

He never did understand how she  _ knew _ he would be out there. But that night he stayed with them, talking about the ways that Mr. Higurashi had enriched all of their lives, gently holding Kagome in his arms as she cried. Three days later, Inuyasha and his mother had sat with the Higurashis in the front pew of the funeral, because he and Izayoi were considered family.

How the  _ fuck _ had he thrown that all away over the course of a single fucking semester?

“Inuyasha?” Dewey chocolate eyes so like her daughter’s greeted Inuyasha.

“H-hello… Mrs. Higurashi…” Inuyasha mumbled. When Mama’s eyes dashed up to his ears, he realized they’d started drooping.

“Come in Yash,” Mama moved out of the way, and Inuyasha stepped through the door. “Kagome isn’t here.”

“I—I know.” Inuyasha admitted. He didn’t add that the scent of cherry blossoms and vanilla that had the power to both relax him and ignite his nerves was stale in the house.

“You’re not here for Kagome?” Mama’s eyes narrowed, and he knew she’d read far more into his admission than he’d intended.

“No.” Inuyasha mumbled.

He breathed. This was harder than he imagined it would be. But… Mama Higurashi was special. When Inuyasha and his mother moved to the neighborhood, a lot of neighbors dropped by, but usually it was to talk to Izayoi in hushed voices about “whether her son knew how to play with human children” or to recommend good demon boarding schools…

Mama Higurashi came to their house holding sugar cookies, with Kagome and Sōta in tow. Mama had immediately asked how they liked the neighborhood and kneeled down to introduce herself to Inuyasha, who was hiding behind Izayoi’s legs. Mama had invited Izayoi and Inuyasha to dinner  _ that night _ because “unpacking and moving is  _ enough _ responsibility!” And when they came over, Mr. Higurashi had been just as welcoming.

Even while everyone  _ else _ seemed to have a problem with Inuyasha being a half-demon, the Higurashis never did. But on that specific day, did the trust and acceptance of the Higurashis extend to his admitting that he was in love with Kagome? To her  _ mother? _

“I can see the cogs in your brain turning, Inuyasha…” Mama Higurashi said warmly, the last remnants of the tears she’d been privately crying retreating.

“I… I forgot what today is.” Inuyasha murmured, “I… I’m s-s-sorry.”

“Oh honey,” Mama pulled Inuyasha into one of the all-enveloping hugs that he always pretended he hated but he secretly loved, “It’s okay. Thank you for coming to check in on us.”

“N-n-no. I… I…” Inuyasha wasn’t going to let the Mama’s soothing scent of tea and vanilla that exuded warmth rip the tears from his eyes—he  _ wasn’t _ .

Except that he was. He couldn’t keep them in. Not when  _ he forgot _ that December 1st was the day that she lost her dad, and the day he felt like he lost a member of his family too. Not when his  _ insensitivity _ had made one of the worst days of Kagome’s life worse.

“Let’s get you some hot chocolate and you can tell me what’s going on.” Mama Higurashi tweaked Inuyasha’s ear, completely ignoring the tears that were pooling in the corners of his eyes. “Whatever it is, we can figure it out.”

Inuyasha nodded, then slumped down on the couch. He couldn’t believe he fucking  _ broke down _ in front of Kagome’s mother. Half-demons didn’t cry.  _ Ever _ . He’d learned that lesson so fucking young. But… remembering the kind smiles and teasing of Mr. Higurashi, remembering the somber faces of Mama, Kagome, and Sōta that day a year ago and then the  _ broken face _ of Kagome, the one  _ he caused _ … he couldn’t keep them inside of him. He sniffled and wiped them away, but the assholes didn’t seem to want to stop falling. Finally, with a few deep breaths and the soothing scent of chocolate mixing with Mama’s, Inuyasha started to calm himself down.

“Here. Half the chocolate, double the milk, just like you like.” Ms. Higurashi arrived the very moment his tears had stopped, handing him the enormous mug with the smiley face on it that seemed to now be his. How had the hot chocolate been so perfectly timed? “Kagome will probably be gone for a while. So… let’s talk Inuyasha. What brought you to our doorstep today?”

“I… I…” Inuyasha sighed. He knew he needed to tell Mama, but that didn’t mean it was easy. “I made Kagome hate me today.”

“I… see.” Mama’s eyes narrowed, but instead of them being angry, they seemed to show nothing but concern. “May I ask what you think you have done to make her hate you?”

“I… made fun of her sweater.” Inuyasha put his hot chocolate down and dropped his eye contact. He didn’t deserve fucking hot chocolate or fucking sympathy.

“ _ Oh _ .” Mama brought her hands to her mouth, contemplating. “Yeah, that would do it.”

“I’m a f—a complete idiot.” Inuyasha dropped his head into his hands, “I made a stupid joke about her sweater because I am a dumba—dummy who forgot that today was the one year anniversary of…”

“Of Hiro’s death.” Mama finished his thought, but then she took her hand and she ruffled Inuyasha’s bangs, “I think I know exactly that happened… and I think I can help.”

“You—you mean it?” Inuyasha’s head jutted back up, in part to confirm that Mama was not lying, and was met with her warm eyes, “Because… I never want to lose her Ms. Higurashi.”

“Oh my dear, I  _ know _ .” Mama laughed, “But… I think we need to start by talking about Kagome’s sweater.” Mama then picked up the hot chocolate and handed it back firmly to Inuyasha. “When Kagome was about 8 years old, just after we’d had the ‘talk’ about Santa, Hiro gave Kagome a little present, wrapped in wrapping paper covered in white elephants. He told her that now that she was a big kid, she needed to keep the secret for Sōta. And the present in her hand was special, that only big kids got a white elephant present. See, Hiro was a prankster, and he  _ loved _ giving people white elephant presents. I didn’t let him give them to the children from ‘Santa,’ so he waited until Kagome knew the secret. And when she did, every year, he gave her a gag gift. Sometimes it was a whoopie cushion. Sometimes it was chocolate poop. Sometimes it was one of those little hand buzzers. But every year, he did something like that.  
_ Last year _ , he’d already chosen the presents for the children, before the accident. So… on Christmas, I gave them the presents from their father. And there it was: the present wrapped in white elephant paper. Inside was the ugliest Christmas sweater I’d ever seen. We laughed that night, and then we cried. Because Hiro managed to play one last prank.”

_ Fuck _ .   
Inuyasha had made fun of the last present Kagome’s dad would ever give her.   
She fucking  _ wore that sweater _ on the anniversary of his death.

“Drink up dear, it’ll get cold.” Mama’s voice cut through Inuyasha’s self-loathing. Inuyasha did as he was told. “Now, where was I… Kagome decided she wanted to wear that sweater today because it would make her feel close to her dad. And you know that girl, once she gets an idea in her head…”

Inuyasha chuckled before he could stop himself. Yep, Kagome was more stubborn than a boar demon. It was one more thing that he absolutely adored about her. That she stood her ground. She’d done it against him, but more importantly, she’d done it to  _ defend him _ .

“I asked her if she lost a bet.” Inuyasha admitted, using the beverage in his hand as liquid courage.

“That certainly  _ was stupid _ ,” Mama sighed, “But… you could have said so much worse. Why… did you say it?”

“Because I’m a fu—fool.” Inuyasha’s usual filter was only barely keeping in place. A swear word was going to slip out.

“Mmm. I’d noticed you weren’t coming around as much. I thought… well, kids grow up…” Mama’s dreamy look turned sharp when she caught Inuyasha’s eyes. “...and grow apart.”

“No.” Inuyasha spoke before he really knew what he was saying. “Uh. No. N-not… not for me.”

“I see.” Mama leaned forward, not letting Inuyasha break their gaze, “Inuyasha… I need to ask you something.” She then lowered her voice to a whisper. “Do you...  _ love... _ Kagome?”

There it was. The question that drove Inuyasha to sprint to the Higurashis. It was a question that Inuyasha had known the answer to since he began to understand what love  _ was _ .

“Yes.” Inuyasha couldn’t hide it. Not now. Not from Mama. Not when he’d hurt Kagome so deeply that he was afraid he was on the verge of losing her.

“Well…” Mama’s voice wavered, and her eyes contained unshed tears, but the smile she wore was radiant. “That makes things a whole lot easier.” Inuyasha didn’t ask what Mama meant, because before he had time to even set down his hot chocolate, she had leaned in conspiratorially, “Here’s what we are going to do.”


	2. White Elephants and Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Allusion to parental death and dealing with grief

_ Did you lose a bet, Higurashi _ ?

Each word out of Inuyasha’s mouth pierced Kagome, injecting ice into her already-fragile veins.  _ Never _ had he done anything like this to her before. Stomping on her heart on the only day of the year she needed him.

She expected the jibes of the KKK. Kikyo had it out for her, all because Kagome had done better on her SATs. Which for whatever reason meant that the prettier, skinnier, more  _ perfect _ girl thought that Kagome needed to be constantly hassled. Kanna just seemed stupid and cruel, looking for ways to bore into someone’s soul and pollute it. And Koga? Well… Koga was very proud of playing soccer, and viewed anyone who did not fawn all over him and his soccer skills as inferior.

_ Those _ were the friends Inuyasha decided to choose.  _ Those _ were the people Inuyasha chose over her. Mocking her exactly a year after her dad died over the sweater her dad gave to her: the last present she would ever receive from him.

_...Go back to the KKK, you truly are one of them now… _

She hadn’t wanted that to be true, had hoped that they would find their way back to one another eventually. Because he’d always found his way to her. But this year was different. This year, Inuyasha finally had gotten over his fear and tried out for track. He’d always loved running and jumping. Even compared to demons, his jumping abilities meant that he made the varsity team in hurdles, high jump  _ and _ long jump.

At first, Kagome had been  _ overjoyed _ that people finally seemed to understand and appreciate how amazing Inuyasha was, shedding the stupid half-demon prejudice that had plagued him for most of his life. But, as the semester went on, Inuyasha got closer and closer to the popular kids, and stopped hanging out with her much in school. Inuyasha  _ still _ spent an inordinate amount of time at their house when he wasn’t in track practice, and  _ still _ did his homework with her, but… she couldn’t deny that they were growing apart.

It killed her inside, but she was also happy for him. He deserved friends. He deserved people to see how wonderful he was. He deserved…  _ deserved… _ a girlfriend who was as amazing as he was.

Who was she to hope that it was going to be her?   
It was so stupid. Pointless.   
They were friends. They’d been friends since they were kids.   
Now… she wasn’t even sure they were  _ that _ anymore.

Inuyasha had chased after her to apologize, but… he’d forgotten about December 1st. He’d waited until the KKK were actively  _ laughing  _ and  _ making fun of her _ to ask  _ why _ she would wear that sweater to school. Kagome would have told him too. About her dad’s white elephant presents. About not being able to wear the sweater last year at all because the wounds were all still too raw. About feeling like wearing something so ridiculous to school was  _ honoring _ the memory of her dad.

But he hadn’t asked.   
He’d made fun of her.   
He’d run a knife through the scars that had only so recently healed over.

_ I am going to go see dad. I’ll be home by dinner.  
_ Kagome texted her mother.

She’d been planning to visit her father’s grave that day as was, but… now, after what happened, after wondering if her losing Inuyasha had finally happened, Kagome needed to be alone, and Kagome needed her  _ dad _ .

_ Okay dear. I’m making sloppy joes.  
_ Mama’s text brought a little smile to Kagome’s face.

Kagome wondered how much Mama had been able to read into such a simple text, but it was clear that she had. Inuyasha’s jab festered in her mind, but she couldn’t think about it. There was no room for grief for both her dad and for Inuyasha right then. There was only room for the man who bought her the ugliest sweater in the world.

_ Inuyasha is here  
_ The ping from Mama’s second text message caught Kagome off guard. What the hell was he doing at her house, especially when she wasn’t there,  _ especially when _ he wasn’t welcome?

_ Let me know when he leaves  
_ Kagome texted Mama back abruptly. She didn’t have space for this, for  _ Inuyasha _ , in her brain.

But that was the problem.  
Inuyasha was all she thought about.

Inuyasha and his mother Izayoi had come over nearly every day the previous December, helping with chores, doing the cooking, and just  _ being there _ for them. It had meant  _ everything _ . They’d had Christmas dinner together the year before, with Mama and Izayoi shooing them out of the kitchen for everything except for cookie baking.

One year ago was the only time in Kagome’s memory that Inuyasha had put his arm around her, holding her and letting her quietly cry into his chest. And then, for her first Christmas without her dad, she had Inuyasha.

Inuyasha came by several times a week, shoveling their driveway in the winter, weeding their garden in the spring, mowing the lawn in summer, and raking the leaves in the fall. He was there to play catch with Sōta, who was beginning to take a shine to baseball, and to fix Mama’s car when the Serpentine belt broke.

But then things changed. The year before, Inuyasha and Kagome walked to and from school together, ate lunch together with their friends, and sought each other out on the school grounds. Then Inuyasha made the track team, and practices kept him before and after school. Then they got scheduled for different lunch hours, and Inuyasha started hanging out with the KKK.

He still came over about once per week, but it was different. It was no longer easy; it felt like Inuyasha was fulfilling an obligation, which made loving him so much harder.

She couldn’t even remember when that started—the loving Inuyasha.   
Was it the first time she saw him growling at the panther demons who pushed him down and called him a half-breed? (Kagome  _ might’ve _ flared her reiki as she told the stupid cats off…)   
Was it when she almost fell out of the tree, only to land in Inuyasha’s arms?   
Or was it when he held her, one year ago, so she could let go and just grieve?

Maybe it was all of those times, and none of those times. Because when she thought about it, she couldn’t think of a time when she didn’t love him. As if her heart always knew what it wanted, and it only left her brain to ask.

Tears started to stream out of Kagome’s eyes.  _ You lose a bet, Higurashi? _   
When had she lost Inuyasha too?

Before she knew it, Kagome was standing there, face-to-face with the indifferent headstone that bore her father’s name:  _ Hiromu Higurashi — To know him is to love him. _

“Papa?” Kagome whispered, “I miss you. Why did you have to go so soon?”

Kagome seated herself on the cold ground to face the grave, closing her eyes to picture her dad’s face. She could see the warm brown eyes that always glittered with a little bit of mischief. She could see the deep lines radiating out from the corners of his eyes: showing off how much he laughed. She could see the stubble and the little grin that puffed out his cheeks. And  _ god she missed him _ .

He would have known what to do.   
Even though he was no longer there in person, maybe he  _ could _ help her figure out what to do. One last time.

“I… I think I’m in love with Inuyasha.” Kagome started, “But he’s been… pulling away. Then…  _ today of all days _ … he— _ he made fun of the sweater you got me _ .” The words were coming easier now, even as she had to choke them out through sobs. “He—he has new friends and is  _ popular now _ and I don’t think he ever… thought of me like that. But dad. I love him. I love him so much. What do I  _ do _ ?!”

And at the very moment she’d stopped asking the question, she heard the little jingle of an arriving text message.

_ Inuyasha is helping me make dinner. I’ll tell him to leave if you want… but I think you should talk to him.  
_ Kagome looked down at the phone and saw Mama’s new text, then back at her dad’s grave.

Her dad had answered her plea.

“Thank you papa.” Kagome whispered, and she swore that she could see him looking down on her, the laugh lines around his eyes reflecting his luminous smile.

Kagome dusted off her pants and stood up, pressed her fingers to her lips to give her dad’s grave a goodbye kiss, then headed out of the cemetery.

_ I’ll be home soon.  
_ Kagome texted Mama back.

Kagome didn’t know what Inuyasha had said, or what he was doing there, but she knew she had to talk to him. Because she  _ knew _ Mama’s text had not arrived when it did by accident. It sped Kagome’s feet and increased her heartbeat.

The mocking of Inuyasha’s words still echoed in her mind. But instead of the broken feeling she walked into the cemetery with, a sense of hope had washed over her. Maybe she hadn’t lost Inuyasha. And maybe, just  _ maybe _ , even though her dad was no longer able to hold her and tease her, still he was  _ there _ . Kagome thought about the garish green Christmas abomination she wore under her jacket.

For some reason, that morning, Kagome hadn’t been able to keep her eyes off of it. It called to her, as if she could hear her dad’s laughter, daring her to wear it. So she did, because she couldn’t think of a better way to honor his memory. She thought about how he would laugh every time one of her classmates stared too long at it. It was almost a game she could play with him across the veil of the afterlife. And it had worked. Her day had been full of secret little giggles.

Until Inuyasha.

Inuyasha was the only person who penetrated the armor she’d built. Because his tease felt like the match that lit the bridge they’d built over all those years together on fire.

An Inuyasha who was intent on burning that bridge would not chase her out of school crying apologies.   
An Inuyasha who was planning to walk away would not be with her mother at this moment.   
An Inuyasha who’d checked out would not come with the  _ I think you should talk to him _ from Mama.

When Kagome arrived at her house, she paused. Inuyasha was inside.   
Why did that make her queasy?   
Her dad gave her a sign.   
And so did Mama.   
She could do this.   
Because, awful joke or not, Inuyasha was still someone she wanted in her life.

So Kagome opened the door and walked through it.

“...So have you always found spices to be overpowering?..” Mama’s soft voice was coming from the kitchen.

“Yeah.. I shoulda told you before Ms. Higurashi…” Inuyasha’s voice made Kagome’s stomach seize.

Kagome could hear pans clattering and the sounds of sizzling beef, and the smokey scent of sloppy joes teased her nostrils. It was the smell of comfort: soothing the butterflies that Inuyasha’s presence had evoked.

“I’m home,” Kagome said, putting down her bookbag and taking off her jacket.

Both Mama and Inuyasha appeared in the kitchen doorway at the same time. In spite of Inuyasha being at  _ least _ half a foot taller, he’d hunkered down behind Mama. Kagome could see his drooping ears and his luminous golden eyes. He looked…  _ frightened _ .

“Inuyasha? I think I can take care of the sloppy joes from here. Why don’t you and Kagome go up to her room to chat.” Mama spoke softly, lovingly, and stepped out of the way, leaving the two looking at each other.

“Is… is that okay?” Inuyasha asked Kagome, his voice wavering uncertainly.

“Y—yeah.” Kagome answered.

She hadn’t given much thought to how she’d expected Inuyasha to look when she came into the house.  _ Even _ given that he’d thought it was important enough that he’d rushed to her house and talked to Mama. Still… she wasn’t expecting to look into the eyes of a kicked puppy.

Was he as worried about losing her as she was about losing  _ him _ ?   
Even as her reasoned brain revolted, her heart whispered to her, encouraging her to have hope.

Kagome tipped her chin in the direction of her bedroom, and turned to head up the stairs. Inuyasha’s footsteps echoed behind her, telling her that he’d followed.

What was she going to say to him?   
The thought of his jibe that afternoon brought bile to her throat. She didn’t want to tell him about the sweater, or about how much it hurt for him to make fun of her, or how terrified she’d been for  _ months _ that she was on the cusp of losing him. Because he’d been there. Through it all. Through everything. The year before.

Kagome went directly to her bed, seating herself on the patchwork quilt she’d had since she was a child. Inuyasha didn’t so much as hesitate at crossing the room and plopping himself down right next to her. Kagome felt the little shiver resonate through her as she felt the heat radiating off of his body. It felt good to be this  _ near _ to him. His presence soothed her, and it grounded her, and she realized that she  _ was _ in fact, ready to talk, even if she didn’t yet know what she was going to say. That she wasn’t going to lose him, and maybe, that it was  _ okay _ to be angry.

“Kagome…” Inuyasha turned his body to face her, and his eyes found hers. “I… I can’t tell you how sorry I am for being such an…  _ ass _ .” Before Kagome could interject, Inuyasha continued, “I shoulda known better. It—it’s a great sweater.”

“It’s an ugly sweater Inuyasha…” Kagome drawled; she was not here for flattery to get forgiven.

Inuyasha’s ears drooped, but he didn’t look away, “I… I know. More—your dad picked a hilarious-ass sweater for you.”

So he had talked to Mama…

“Almost like I lost a bet…” Kagome wasn’t ready to give up her furor yet.  _ Especially _ with how quickly it changed when it was only her around instead of the KKK too.

Inuyasha  _ did _ turn his head away at her words, and it looked like something deeper broke inside of him.

“When the  _ fuck _ did everything go all wrong, ‘Gome?” Inuyasha leaned into her, “I… I don’t like myself anymore.”

Whatever Kagome had thought Inuyasha was going to say, it  _ was not this _ .

“...It’s hard, y’know? Being half-demon and getting accepted. It felt… so fucking good. And I gave into that feeling. I liked it. I wanted it. And somewhere along the way… I—I stopped knowing who I was.” Inuyasha exhaled, “ _ Fuck _ ‘Gome… How the  _ fuck _ did I forget what today was? I—I am  _ so so _ sorry.”

Inuyasha tentatively wrapped his arms around Kagome’s shoulders, pausing briefly to make sure she would accept his touch. Kagome leaned back, and as soon as her back came into contact with his arms, Inuyasha tightened his grip.

“Kagome,” Inuyasha tipped his head to look directly into Kagome’s eyes, “I… I’m gonna fix this. Just… don’t give up with me.”

“Give…  _ up _ on you?” Kagome tried to digest the words Inuyasha had just used.

He’d been the one pushing away.

“Yeah—I… I want to deserve to be in your life again,” Inuyasha leaned his forehead into her forehead. “Just—just give me until the day before Christmas break.”

Kagome could feel Inuyasha trembling through their contact, and his eyes shone with fear and hope and shame. She knew his ears were drooping and heard the low guttural whine Inuyasha couldn’t suppress.

“Okay.” was all Kagome said before the two headed back downstairs, where Mama Higurashi served them sloppy joes for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a surprisingly difficult chapter to write, because this year I lost _my_ dad, so this was my first Christmas without him.


	3. Two Presents

“Open it.” Inuyasha sat on his haunches in Kagome’s bedroom, his hand extended out with a little rectangle wrapped in plain red paper.

Kagome rolled her eyes, but she took the gift, giggling as Inuyasha’s ears wiggled.

When he told her he was going to prove himself in three weeks, Kagome had almost told him that he didn’t need to to prove anything, that all he had to do was be himself. But that was the revelation: Inuyasha’s “change” over the past three weeks was a reversion. It was going from the person  _ he  _ didn’t recognize anymore back to the person she loved.

The first change came in the form of a knock on her door the morning of December 2nd.

“Looks like Inuyasha is here!” Mama had called, then handed Kagome not one but  _ two _ thermoses of coffee, as if she  _ knew _ he was coming. “Please be sure to ask him if he and Izayoi want to come to dinner tonight!”

“I’ll check with mom, but count us in!” Kagome’s heart had skipped at Inuyasha’s gruff voice, made worse when she saw him in his letterman’s jacket with his hair tied in a high ponytail, his golden eyes sparkling at the sight of her. “H—hey ‘Gome. Mind if we walk to school together? We… we haven’t for a while.”

“Don’t you have track practice?” Kagome had asked.

“Nah… I can do it all after school,” Inuyasha had answered, shrugging away her puzzled look. “Besides… I—I really  _ liked _ walking to school with you.”

That night, Izayoi and Inuyasha had come and eaten dinner with the Higurashis.

Every morning after the first, Inuyasha was there, leaning against the doorway in his letterman jacket, ready to walk with Kagome to school. And every morning, Mama Higurashi handed Kagome two thermoses of coffee.

And the morning walks were only the start; Inuyasha’s changes had extended into the school grounds to meteoric effect, leaving aftershocks of gossip and surprise.

“Ugh!” Kagome had heard the voice she tried to erase from her mind, “I can’t  _ believe _ Inuyasha ditched us!” Kikyo’s voice had the ability to make people wish they were hearing nails on a chalkboard, “And right when I’d finally decided to maybe go out with him.”

Kikyo had also made it a point to ram her shoulder into Kagome’s as she walked by, shooting her a blistering look as she continued on, talking with Kanna.

It had taken Kagome a while to figure out exactly  _ what that meant _ , and she only found out when Shippo came bounding up to her to tell her something important.

“So… he’s sitting with you and Shiori?” Kagome asked, still digesting the news that Inuyasha had left the KKK’s table to return to his old friends.

“He talks about  _ you _ … a  _ lot _ .” Shippo had rolled his eyes, “Whatever you did to him… concussion, amnesia, voodoo, good job… because he’s himself again. Minus the annoying Kagome  _ this _ and Kagome  _ that _ that is happening… Can you  _ please _ get your lunch hour switched to ours again? I think if you were sitting there, he’d stop.”

Kagome began to hear that a lot. Inuyasha had deserted the KKK for his old “less cool” friends. It had been scandalous, his shirking the popular kids, but Kagome couldn’t ever remember seeing him look quite that happy  _ ever _ during their senior year. He laughed freely with Sango and Miroku, threatened to kick Shippo’s ass again, and quietly chatted with Shiori as they walked down the hall. And he walked with Kagome any and every moment he could, carrying her books between classes, hanging out near her locker, and waving to her from the track field when she headed home for the day.

Finally, on the days a week Inuyasha didn’t have track practice or a track meet, he always seemed to be at her house. He was back helping Mama with chores to the point she had to say “Inuyasha go have fun!”, and he played video games with Sōta, who was more than happy to occupy the half-demon as long as Inuyasha allowed.

“It’s really awesome that Inuyasha is hanging out more!” Sōta had proclaimed, “Even though he is completely useless at Halo…”

“He cheats!” Inuyasha had barked back, still pouting at being beaten squarely by Kagome’s little brother, but Kagome could also see the sparkle in Inuyasha’s eyes.

It was clear that now, like before, Inuyasha was spending nearly all his free time with Kagome. Sure, they did a lot of homework together (Calculus was a  _ bitch _ ), but Inuyasha also just stayed to watch movies and listen to music. Almost as if the first semester of their senior year had never happened.

But something in the air was  _ not _ like it had been before. Something was loaded and exciting. Inuyasha never mentioned it, never pushed, but… somehow Kagome knew. Inuyasha was waiting. Until the day before Christmas break. That day. That  _ moment _ .

“Kagome,  _ please _ . Open it.” Inuyasha’s voice grew more pleading, holding the red papered box in front of him.

“You sure?” Kagome asked; Inuyasha’s present—an amethyst and opal bead bracelet that was meant to increase good fortune—was still on its way.

“Yes.” Inuyasha answered, his ears wiggling irritably.

Kagome nodded, then accepted the small box. She used her fingernails to pry off the tape of the package, letting the red paper fall away. It revealed another box, one made of black velvet.  _ What the hell had he gotten her? _ Kagome’s eyes darted up to meet Inuyasha’s.

“Just… open it.” Inuyasha whispered, his eyes alight with so many different emotions that Kagome was having difficulty identifying them all.

So finally, she opened the little box.

A golden heart stared back up at her, collared by a delicate chain.

“It’s a locket.” Inuyasha blurted, leaving no doubt that he’d been holding in the words since Kagome had seen the box, “Look inside.”

Kagome lifted the locket out of its box. It was heavier than she imagined it would be. The glossy golden heart reflected her face, imbuing it with the warmth and color of a sunset. Kagome placed her fingers on each edge of the simple heart, and pried open the metal. In each half, there was a picture. On one side, Kagome saw her own face laughing up at her, brown eyes wide with delight. On the other side was Inuyasha, his face painted in a luminous grin, his ears perked as far forward as they could go. In the picture, they were young, probably not even ten years old.

“Your mom helped me pick this,” Inuyasha said, “We were playin’ tag. And I was  _ it _ . Sōta had gone to hide, but you were laughing and teasin’ me, not worried  _ at all _ that a half-demon was chasing you. I… I can’t remember the day we did that but… you were never afraid of me. Never believed the bullshit about how I could be dangerous or harm you… and… I can’t tell you how much that meant to me ‘Gome… How much it  _ still means to me _ .”

Inuyasha’s ears drooped, “I am never gonna forgive myself for… for harming you. And every day for the rest of my life I’m gonna make sure I’m the man that the little Kagome in the locket deserves.  _ You _ deserve.”

“Inuyasha… you made a dumb joke about an ugly sweater. You need to stop beating yourself up.” Kagome seemed to need to say that to him every day, and she could tell he was trying  _ so hard _ to stop, but something about forgetting what that day was to her had dug under his skin and taken root.

“I guess… I was so little when my old man died that I just… I don’t remember the date anymore,” Inuyasha stared down at the floor, shaking his head as he tried to shove away whatever memory was coming, “I guess… I just never wanted to remember. Because I barely knew him before he was gone. And then your dad…  _ shit _ … but that is no excuse.”

Even though she’d known Inuyasha now for most of her life, this was the first time she’d ever heard Inuyasha talk about his dad’s death. Of all the changes Inuyasha had made in three weeks,  _ this _ , the  _ opening up _ was the most profound to her. She  _ remembered _ … over the past year, Inuyasha constantly shared little anecdotes about times he had with  _ her _ dad. Of the time Papa had attempted to play baseball with him and Inu had accidentally broken the bat. Of the time that Papa had brought over his special spice-free chicken soup because Inuyasha had a fever on a human night. Of the little smiles and pranks that Inuyasha sometimes got in on…  _ all of it _ in celebration of the man,  _ all of it _ as a way to provide comfort to Kagome in the way that  _ Inuyasha  _ had needed it when he grieved for his own father…

Kagome leaned over and put her arms around Inuyasha, drawing him to her in a tight hug.

“You were always trying to celebrate my dad…” Kagome whispered, trying as hard as she could to suppress the tears that were attempting to escape, “You were doing the thing that would have brought you solace.”

“Keh.” Inuyasha huffed, but even with her face buried in his shoulder, unable to verify, she was certain that he was smiling. “I… uh. I got you one more thing.”

Inuyasha gently separated himself from her arms, then reached into his letter jacket, a sharp crackle coming from whatever he’d stuffed in there until this moment. As he freed it, Kagome nearly gasped.

Dancing white elephants stared up at her from the present. The package was loosely tied, with red string holding the paper onto whatever was within.

“Mama… told me about your tradition. And… I hope I’m not intruding by… borrowing from it.” Inuyasha’s voice cracked as he spoke. Whatever was in  _ this _ package was making him more nervous than the  _ locket _ . “O—open it.”

Unlike the red wrapping paper, which Kagome had carefully unpacked, she ripped into the little white elephants. Every gift her dad ever gave her came rushing back: the prank books, the chocolate poop, the whoopee cushions, and finally, the  _ sweater _ . What had Inuyasha prepared for her? Knowing he was going to have to stand on her papa’s shoulders?

A garish red material was the first thing that peeked out of one of the tears to the paper, knitted in a tight and uneven pattern. When Kagome freed the entire thing, brown googly-eyed reindeer grinned at her, their noses the same pompoms as her  _ green _ ugly sweater.

Inuyasha had bought her a match to the last gift Papa would ever give her.   
But something seemed off. Kagome shook it out and saw that it was  _ at least _ three sizes too large for her.

“I—Inuyasha?” Kagome dropped the sweater below eye-level to look in the face of the half-demon.

“Mama helped me find it.” Inuyasha’s voice continued to crack, but his ears wiggled excitedly. “It—It’s not for you, it’s for  _ me. _ ”

“What?” Kagome stuttered.

Inuyasha’s words were sort of making sense, and the sweater  _ certainly _ looked like it would fit him. But why did he pick the same ugly sweater for himself, and why did he seem more nervous about  _ this _ gift than about a locket? Was he worried that he was stepping on Kagome’s relationship with Papa? But even  _ that  _ didn’t seem quite right. It was as if— _ as if _ —there was some deeper meaning to the sweater. Kagome didn’t know what to say next. She just had to trust Inuyasha would find his words.

“That fucking day. I… thought I’d finally fucked up so bad that… that I’d never get a chance to tell you everything I needed to.” Inuyasha spoke quietly, gaining more confidence as he continued, “Kagome… I love you. Fucking hell if I even know when that started. And… well… it was so fucking easy to just decide I am gonna tell you tomorrow… and every day I said I’d admit it tomorrow. Then… after I made the stupidest joke of my life for the stupidest reasons of my life, I thought maybe I wouldn’t get anymore tomorrows. And… I don’t think I have ever felt that terrible.”

Inuyasha took a deep breath, and placed his hands gently around Kagome’s, “I want you to be my girlfriend.”

[ ](https://mickisketch.tumblr.com/post/643225657078398976/so-this-is-a-drawing-inspired-by)

Amazing artwork by [mickisketch](https://mickisketch.tumblr.com)

* * *

Three weeks ago, Kagome thought she had lost Inuyasha, one year after she’d lost her father. And after she’d visited her father’s grave, and she and Inuyasha had talked, she was mostly relieved to know that she  _ hadn’t _ lost her best friend. The best friend that she was secretly in love with, but would have been happy as long as she had him in her life.

She hadn’t let herself think— _ dream _ —that Inuyasha, her half-demon hero with his long silver hair, intense golden eyes, teasing fangs, perfect physique… the one with the ears that always gave away his mood, and were downy soft and precious,  _ loved her the way she loved him _ .

“Inuyasha?” Kagome was having trouble forming words, “I… I want to be your girlfriend too.”

“Do you mean it?” Inuyasha’s ears vibrated even more rapidly than before, and his smile was so wide that Kagome could see both of his fangs sticking out. “You—you really want to?”

“Yes you dummy!” Kagome laughed.

Before she knew it, she was enveloped in Inuyasha’s strong arms. And before she could react, Inuyasha had pressed his lips to hers, kissing her with so much emotion that Kagome closed her eyes to ground herself. Their first kiss was so much more than she thought it would be: the soft give of his mouth on hers, the gentle flick of his tongue to ask her to deepen the kiss, the way his hands caressed her back, it was  _ bliss _ . And as Inuyasha gently prised open her mouth, letting his tongue find hers, Kagome understood. It had taken the possibility of losing one another to finally let their hearts admit what they wanted more than anything else. 

“I love you too.” Kagome wasn’t going to hold it in. She wasn’t going to leave Inuyasha wondering. Not when they found their way to each other, through an insult, through a grave, and through a pair of ugly sweaters.

“Kagome?” A soft voice on the other side of the door shocked both of them out of their kiss. “You and Inuyasha should probably head to school now—I don’t want you to be late.”

“O—okay Mama,” Kagome stuttered back, her face beet red, but she was unable to keep the Cheshire grin off of it.

“Hey… Kagome,” Inuyasha whispered, purring into her ear, “You should put on your green sweater.” Then he added a little nibble to it. “That way, you and your boyfriend can match.”

It might have been the way Inuyasha had said it, and it might have been the fact that Inuyasha was now  _ her boyfriend _ , but Kagome let out a laugh so joyous, she couldn’t keep the squawk out of it. Wherever her papa was, she hoped that he would be proud to see that his last white elephant gift had brought his daughter so much happiness, because Inuyasha loved her as much as she loved him.

As they left for school, Kagome put her hand on the locket she now wore, saying goodbye to her grinning mother, who still handed two thermoses of coffee to them every morning.

That day, everyone at Musashi High School was abuzz with the new gossip. Inuyasha Taisho had come to school hand-in-hand with Kagome Higurashi, his  _ girlfriend _ . And while there were murmurs of surprise amongst some (in particular the KKK), most everyone else agreed that it was  _ about time _ . People did giggle about their matching sweaters, which, if it were a thing, would have handily won the couple’s division of an ugly sweater contest. But Kagome and Inuyasha didn’t care, because to them, their sweaters were so much more than ugly Christmas sweaters.

* * *

[ ](https://mickisketch.tumblr.com/post/638764476736339968/matching-ugly-sweaters-yeaaaahh-this-is)

Secret Santa Artwork for this story from the ethereal [Mickisketch!](https://mickisketch.tumblr.com)


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